It's my party and I'll cry if I want to....

So its my birthday and yes I am getting older but its not the number that bothers me so much as the way things seem to be moving too quickly. A high school friend recently blogged about turning this dreaded number and it really hit home. I dont care that I am now 46 you see I can even say it out loud. The thought of 50 is sickening so I am trying to hold on to 40s. It's getting harder and harder every day. In one sense I want to see my son grow and progress and yet I want to keep them close for fear of anything bad happening to them. Those beautiful teens killed on their way to work at Camp Anchor hit too close to home for me. Now with the princess moving out to the big city, I know I will never sleep soundly again. Dont get me wrong - I am happy for her. This is it - she is on the verge of making it. Independence is what we strive for. I should be proud to say I've raised two beautiful girls. Nurse Jackie is everything I wanted her to be and the Princess, well she is the princess. But as we shop for apartments in the nyc on Saturday I may try to hold her hand for just a little bit longer and hug her for just one more minute knowing that not only am I letting go but also growing up.