IEP season

Yes its that time of the year again. Camp arrangements are made and paid. Now comes making the IEP for next year. the special ed world is riddled with abbreviations. So I will try not to use too many here. But I recently had a cse to go over the IEE and ATE and develop an IEP. Well anyway everything seems to be in place for next year. We as parents spend so much time and energy preparing that we sometimes lose sight of ourselves. A nice walk with a friend, a mani/pedi, even an afternoon nap would do me good at this point in the year. You see all we want as parents of special need kids is inclusion. Dont put my son in the corner, don't pull him out of class ten times per day and dont stick him in a class without his peers in a school with which he is not familiar. Special needs children need to be side by side with the typical children. We can give them assistance, accomodations and the like. All they really want is acceptance. Can you imagine the frustration of children who cant read on grade level? How much courage do you think it takes to ask for help? Our children shouldn't have to ask, repeatedly for help. Help him out. If he asks you for help, give it to him. Parents should be teaching their typical children about helping a classmate. I recently heard from another mother that she didnt want her son sitting next to my son. She didn't think it was fair for her son to have to help my son. He was there to learn. Well, so is my son. And dont start me on the fair thing. No, do not go there. Fair? Ask Joe what's fair. Hell I will tell you life is not fair. But we deal with it. Sometimes the best way to deal with it is to let it play out as it will. Sure we can add our input. We can make suggestions. But I believe in the long run, fate will take its course and the cream will rise to the top. Heres to hoping all of you experience the joy of watching the cream rise to the top!!!

my amazing moment.

I was at Mass on Sunday with James. And had a moment. When they announced the name of the next hymn, I perked up. It was Amazing Grace. Don't you love that one? I get chills when I hear it. I wanted to jump up and start belting it out but knowing I don't have the musical talent of the Princess, I remained seated and hummed along while watching James on the altar. It was indeed amazing and I , of course, started to tear up. I pray every week at Mass for patience, that is it, just patience. Not to win the lottery or win a lacrosse game, just patience and love for all. Sounds simple, I know. Although a little winning is never a bad thing. But that's all the Lord can really help us with. You see he has no control over the lottery or even the evil acts that people commit. I sat in the very same church that a couple of years ago a beloved clergyman, Father Larry was shot down by a disturbed man. God couldn't have prevented it, just like he couldn't have stopped the attacks on 9/11. My God didn't allow those things to happen. Evil people committed these horrible acts. Just last week James informed me after serving at the confirmation mass that he wanted to become a bishop. Not a priest first, but straight to Bishop. I asked him why and he said because I get to carry a big stick. I told him that one doesn't need a big stick to be important. I have a funny feeling the stick he will carry in life will be 10x the size of that Bishop's staff and he will use it wisely. Respect comes to those with and without big sticks. I also reminded him that sometimes people can abuse the power of carrying the big stick. I had to wonder whether our world leader has asked for spiritual guidance and if he thinks the Good Lord has told him to bomb Libya. I doubt it. All those billions of dollars spent killing people and destroying a nation could have been better spent right here at home fixing our education system. Makes more sense, doesn't it?

The roller coaster ride

It's been quite a week - a rollercoaster of emotions. First I watched as my daughter left for Europe, young and carefree, packing only hours before the plane was scheduled to depart. I listened to the joy in my daughter's voice as she told me she passsed her licensing exam. I listened to the team of psychologists tell me my son will need support and services for the rest of his education. I then had to tell him that any hopes he had of going onto private school were over. I watched as he sobbed and I couldn't comfort him. All the services in the world aren't going to cure his executive function disorder nor his dyslexia. Perhaps medication will help with the ADD but I have always been hesitant about medicating children. It's something us parents struggle with. Does the good outweigh the negative side effects? Then I watched as my son was inducted into his new role in his church as an alter server. I stood on the alter with him and looked out and saw my husband and my parents. I would have liked to have seen the rest of my family but I know we are all growing and moving on. I felt they were all there in spirit with us, whether in Paris or not. Finally, I quit my job. With everything going on around me, I couldn't have one more demand placed upon me. I had reached my breaking point. I must now help my son. No job in the world is more important.

summer camp

So we got the news today Joe got a partial scholarship for BMX camp. He was so excited - he put some much into the application. Mind you, this is not a camp for disabled children. This is hardcore. BMX, skateboard, snowboard, the works. 7 days, sleep away four hours from mommmy. Four hours from mom laying out the clothes, gently prodding him along with his morning routine. Yeah I am having a panic attack and we have 5 months to go. When I called the camp to inquire as to the program, they told me they have free time all afternoon. Free time? My boy needs structure. Even though recently at a CSE meeting I was told by the cse chair, after explaining our need for routine and the result of no routine or a twist in same (as most ADD children need), that "even though I dont have any children, it sounds more like his personality rather than his disability: to which I muttered under my breathe "you dont have children or brains. Maybe I do too much for him, I dont know. He is after all my baby, the last of my children I will ever give birth to during this lifetime. On one hand I want to turn the clock back to when my irish twins were toddlers. Life was crazy but little boys brought little problems. We didnt worry about science fair projects and human body tests. Just the other day I saw a severally handicapped boy trying to cross the street. I had to stop and thank God for my Joe. I have to hold his hand, and lay out his clothes and control his temper tantrums. I have to help him read signs and read books. But I know he will succeed. I said to Max the other day, Lord we are going to have him for the rest of our lives living with us and he said who cares? You know what? he was right. Now I hate to admit when Max is right. But he was - like in the movie Blind Side "how did those words feel coming out your mouth? Like vinegar." But hey look at that kid - he made it without a mom like me. I'm sure Joe can do the same.