summer camp

So we got the news today Joe got a partial scholarship for BMX camp. He was so excited - he put some much into the application. Mind you, this is not a camp for disabled children. This is hardcore. BMX, skateboard, snowboard, the works. 7 days, sleep away four hours from mommmy. Four hours from mom laying out the clothes, gently prodding him along with his morning routine. Yeah I am having a panic attack and we have 5 months to go. When I called the camp to inquire as to the program, they told me they have free time all afternoon. Free time? My boy needs structure. Even though recently at a CSE meeting I was told by the cse chair, after explaining our need for routine and the result of no routine or a twist in same (as most ADD children need), that "even though I dont have any children, it sounds more like his personality rather than his disability: to which I muttered under my breathe "you dont have children or brains. Maybe I do too much for him, I dont know. He is after all my baby, the last of my children I will ever give birth to during this lifetime. On one hand I want to turn the clock back to when my irish twins were toddlers. Life was crazy but little boys brought little problems. We didnt worry about science fair projects and human body tests. Just the other day I saw a severally handicapped boy trying to cross the street. I had to stop and thank God for my Joe. I have to hold his hand, and lay out his clothes and control his temper tantrums. I have to help him read signs and read books. But I know he will succeed. I said to Max the other day, Lord we are going to have him for the rest of our lives living with us and he said who cares? You know what? he was right. Now I hate to admit when Max is right. But he was - like in the movie Blind Side "how did those words feel coming out your mouth? Like vinegar." But hey look at that kid - he made it without a mom like me. I'm sure Joe can do the same.